Pengakuan Model: Dilarang Makan, Bertahan dengan Minuman Energi

Model Testified: Forbidden to Eat, Surviving on High Energy Drinks

Editor : Cahyani Harzi
Translator : Dhelia Gani


Pengakuan Model: Dilarang Makan, Bertahan dengan Minuman Energi
Georgina Wilkin saat menjadi model hingga mengidap anorexia selama tujuh tahun, kini tubuhnya kembali normal berbalut gaun kuning (kanan) Foto2: Mail Online

GEORGINA Wilkin tidak makan apa-apa selama berhari-hari dan merasa sangat pusing sehingga ia hampir pingsan di Tube saat menuju ke pusat kota London untuk mengunjungi agen model tempatnya bekerja.

Saat dia tiba, setelah melihat keadaannya yang ceking, sang agen malah senang. Dia menatap sosok ceking berusia 16 tahun itu dan bilang begini:  "Georgina, apa pun yang Anda lakukan, terus melakukan hal itu."

Sayangnya, Georgina menuruti kata-kata sang agen dan selama tujuh tahun harus melawan anoreksia, yang sangat berbahaya berupa kekurangan nutrisi (malnutrisi) dan mengalami gagal jantung dan gagal ginjal.

Namun entah bagaimana ia bisa selamat, dan kini ingin mengekspos industri modelling yang hampir membunuhnya. Dia mengatakan: "Setiap orang harus tahu tentang tekanan berat terhadap model."

Georgina, kini berusia 23 tahun, menegaskan bahwa satu-satunya cara untuk mencegah model mengalamianorexia adalah mengajak pelanggan untuk memboikot label yang mempekerjakan gadis-gadis ceking yang berukuran 8.

Georgina, yang tinggal dengan ayahnya seorang pengusaha dan ibunya yang berprofesi dokter di London Utara, mengenal dunia modeling pada usia 15 ketika ia didekati oleh seorang pencari bakat model di London Oxford Street, seperti dilansir Mail Online.

"Pada kunjungan pertama ke agency model tersebut, mereka memperlakukan saya seperti akan menggantikan Kate Moss, dan bilang Ya Tuhan Anda begitu unik, kami sangat senang Anda datang kepada kami. Siapa yang membimbing Anda? Anda mau minum?" kata Georgina.

"Saya sangat tersanjung dan bersemangat - seperti ibuku. Dia benar-benar antusias bahwa saya bakal sukses - dan dia tidak tahu banyak tentang dunia modeling saat itu."

Tapi dalam pertemuan kedua dengan sang agen, bagaimanapun, Georgina mulai mendapatkan gambaran tentang sisi yang buruk dari industri modelling.

"Mereka memotret saya dengan Polaroid, untuk mengetahui bahwa saya fotogenik, dan kemudian diukur setiap inci dari tubuh saya, sampai ke ujung jari saya," katanya. "Saya cepat mengerti bahwa tubuh saya hanyalah produk, bagi orang yang memeriksa dan memberi penilaian."

Georgina berada di tengah-tengah GCSE-nya ketika agen memintanya datang untuk casting dengan agen Jepang yang sedang mencari model untuk bekerja di Tokyo selama beberapa bulan.

"Saya benar-benar tersanjung ketika agen Jepang menjemput saya," kenang Georgina. "Dia bilang saya bisa bekerja untuknya di Jepang dalam dua bulan waktu, dengan syarat bahwa saya bisa menghilangkan kelebihan 3in dari pinggul saya dan satu inci dari pinggang saya.´

Menurunkan berat badan menjadi misinya: "Satu-satunya makanan yang boleh melewati bibir saya adalah salad dan sayuran dan saya kadang-kadang tidak makan selama dua hari."

"Saya menolak sarapan, ketika waktu makan siang saya pergi ke perpustakaan sekolah dan memberitahu orang tua saya, saya akan makan malam di rumah teman sehingga saya tidak perlu duduk untuk makan dengan mereka ketika mereka pulang kerja."

Georgina tidak mampu mengungkapkan bagaimana bobot tubuhnya terus melorot di tahun-tahun berikutnya, khawatir bahwa penderita anoreksia akan bertambah seperti cita-citanya dahulu.

Namun, pada awal karirnya, beratnya hanya 53,5 kg, dan tinggi 177,8 cm, memberikan indikasi tentang betapa ringkih tubuhnya.

Namun setiap dua minggu, Georgina harus pergi ke agency untuk diukur dan difoto dengan bikini. Setiap kali pula ia diberitahu bahwa ia harus menurunkan lagi bobot tubuhnya.

"Gadis-gadis kurus akan mendapat banyak pekerjaan dan saya katanya tidak akan bisa bekerja untuk perusahaan permata karena karena jari-jari tangan saya katanya terlalu gemuk," katanya.

Tubuh ceking, ia tiba di Jepang pada Juni 2006 tetapi terkejut melihat bahwa dia adalah salah satu gadis ´terbesar´ di antara model lainnya.

Berusia 16, Georgina harus mengurus dirinya sendiri di sebuah apartemen di Tokyo dengan dua gadis Rusia yang tidak bisa berbicara bahasa Inggris.

Takut dan kesepian ia menghabiskan sebagian besar waktunya di kamar apartemen, hanya menenggak   minuman energi berbotol-botol. Beberapa minggu kemudian, ia difoto untuk katalog kehamilan mengenakan palsu, mengenakan bantal sebagai ganjal.

"Saya adalah seorang gadis muda yang kekurangan gizi yang didandani agar terlihat seperti wanita hamil usia 30 tahun," katanya.

´Pesan seperti itu bisa sangat merusak seorang gadis remaja, atau, wanita mana pun.´

Ponsel Georgina selama di Jepang tidak aktif sehingga satu-satunya kontak dengan orangtuanya adalah sekali seminggu dari telepon umum.

"Saya tidak berpikir orang tua saya ingin saya pergi ke Jepang tapi mereka tahu bagaimana putus asanya saya untuk untuk meraih sukses di dunia model. Dan saya sangat keras kepala."

"Pasti mereka sedih ketika saya menelepon ke rumah karena saya begitu sedih karena selalu menangis."

Entah kenapa, mestinya, tapi kenapa orangtua Georgina tidak memberi tiket pesawat untuk mengantarnya pulang?

´Kesepakatan kontrak menyatakan bahwa saya harus mengganti agen untuk membeli tiket dan akomodasi dari uang yang saya terima. Jadi saya tidak bisa pulang," katanya.

Setiap kali orangtuanya bertanya, Georgina berpura-pura bahwa ia makan makanan Jepang yang sehat. Namun, ketika ibu dan kakaknya datang untuk mengunjungi selama minggu terakhir Georgina di Timur Jauh itu akhirnya terkuak bahwa dia sebenarnya berbohong.

´Mama saat itu mengaku sangat terkejut mendapati saya begitu kurus,´ kata Georgina. "Dia mengajak saya untuk makan bersama dia dan adik saya tapi saya selalu punya alasan untuk menolak."

Georgina kembali ke London, dia bekerja sebagai model Top Shop, Gap dan desainer Giles Deacon, antara lain.

"Tidak ada makanan selama pemotretan, dan itu berlangsung sepanjang hari, dan kami hanya minum minuman energi dan kopi. Suatu ketika sepotong gaun tidak cukup di tubuh saya, saya merasa begitu terhina."

´Para stylist menatap saya tidak senang, dan hal itu mendorong saya makan lebih sedikit.

´Mama khawatir, tapi ia bisa melihat betapa bersemangatnya saya untuk menjadi bagian dari industri fashion dan tidak ingin menghalangi cita-cita saya. Ketika ia mencoba berbicara dengan saya tentang bagaimana kurusnya tubuhku, saya hanya menghela nafas dan berubah menjadi pertengkaran kecil, percakapan begitu kerap terjadi antara ibu dan anak gadisnya, saya kira. "

Pada bulan Agustus tahun itu Georgina meraih peringkat nilai sembilan A* di GCSE. Seharusnya hal itu sesuatu yang menggembirakan, namun, selama tahun berikutnya, Georgina malah sakit parah. Tidak dapat bekerja, dia berpisah dengan agennya.

Pada musim panas 2007 orangtuanya memaksanya untuk memeriksakan diri pada dokter pribadi mereka, dokter mengatakan bahwa saya harus dirawat di rumah sakit setelah didiagnosa mengidap
anoreksia dan harus menjalani perawatan selama lima bulan.

"Saya akan terus mendapat order pemotretan meskipun mereka tahu bahwa saya menjadi korban dari bisnis tersebut yang membuat saya mengidap anoreksia," kata Georgina. ´Bibirku dan jari berwarna biru karena saya sangat kurus dan jantung saya mengalami gangguan untuk memompa darah ke seluruh tubuh saya."

´Para perias harus menyamarkan dengan concealer."

"Bukan hanya saya - saya tahu setidaknya enam model lain saya masih melihat foto-foto di situs fashion terkemuka juga mengidap anoreksia. Mereka memiliki tanda biru yang sama pada bibir dan tangan."

"Di rumah sakit, dokter tidak merahasiakan fakta bahwa hidup saya dalam bahaya," katanya. ´Organ vital saya berada di bawah tekanan sehingga ada risiko mendapat serangan jantung atau gagal ginjal."

"Saya dipaksa makan melalui tabung sebelum dipindahkan ke Rumah Sakit Priory London di mana mereka memberi saya makan yang cukup untuk mendapatkan berat badan yang normal. Saya lakukan karena saya diberitahu tetapi, bahkan setelah mendengar bahwa saya hampir mati kelaparan, saya tidak sepenuhnya memahami bahaya yang akan saya hadapi."

Meskipun berisiko pada kematian, tak lama setelah meninggalkan rumah sakit Georgina, pada Februari 2008, ia bergabung dengan agen model lainnya.

Orangtuanya mencoba berbicara padanya tapi Georgina meyakinkan mereka bahwa ia telah pulih dari anoreksia, berprilaku sehat dia tidak akan membiarkan dirinya ditekan untuk menurunkan berat badan
Namun, kebiasaan lama muncul kembali dengan cepat dan Georgina mulai kelaparan lagi.

Pada tahun itu, ketika berusia 18, dia dikontrak oleh Prada untuk tampil di atas catwalk selama pekan mode Milan.

"Hanya dua hari sebelum pertunjukan, saya diberitahu saya tidak perlu tampil," kata Georgina. ´Tidak ada yang menjelaskan mengapa dan saya meyakinkan diriku itu karena saya tidak cukup kurus.

"Terlalu sering saya telah diberitahu oleh agen dan penata rias:" Anda bisa jauh lebih baik jika bisa sedikit lebih kurus" atau " Anda punya begitu banyak potensi, jadi sebaiknya berolahraga di gym. Kalimat itu begitu meresap ke dalam jiwa saya sebagai seorang gadis muda."

Georgina makan lebih sedikit dan bersikeras berjalan
untuk membakar beberapa kalori makanan yang dia konsumsi."

Tapi, meskipun tampil bagaikan kerangka berjalan, dia terus mendapatkan kontrak sampai pertengahan 2009. "Ibuku telah meminta saya untuk menjalani perawatan, jadi saya memutuskan untuk keluar dan menjalani rawat jalan atas gangguan makan yang saya alami."

Yang mengherankan, meskipun mengalami stres, Georgina meraih empat nilai A* di A-level, dan tidak pernah kembali ke atas catwalk.

Momok anoreksia terus menghantuinya sedemikian rupa hingga tahun lalu dia sekali lagi menjadi begitu kurus bahwa ia diterima kembali ke Priory.

Serta dipaksa makan dan menerima konseling, kali ini Georgina juga mendapat resep obat anti-depresi dan obat anti-kecemasan untuk membantunya melawan penyakit.

Setahun kemudian, Georgina bekerja sebagai PA, dengan ambisi untuk menjadi seorang desainer interior, dan begitu yakin bahwa anoreksia-nya berada di bawah kontrol yang ia setuju untuk berbicara tentang pengalamannya pada debat Shape of Fashion yang diadakan baru-baru ini di London Fashion Week.

"Saya merasa sangat beruntung karena bisa selamat tapi itu membuat saya benar-benar marah melihat foto-foto para model yang saya tahu betul bahwa mereka menderita gangguan makan.

´Banyak merek fashion ternama menggunakan gadis anoreksia dalam kampanye mereka dan satu-satunya cara menghentikan hal itu adalah jika berhenti membeli produk mereka."

GEORGINA Wilkin had eaten nothing for days and felt so dizzy she had almost blacked out on the Tube ride into central London to visit her model agent.

On arrival, however, the agent was delighted. He took one look at the 16-year-old´s skinny frame and declared: ´Georgina, whatever you are doing, keep doing it.´

Sadly, Georgina took her agent´s words to heart and would spend the next seven years fighting anorexia, becoming so dangerously malnourished that her heart and kidneys began to fail.

Yet somehow she survived, and now wants to expose the modelling industry which so nearly killed her. She says: ´Everyone should know about the pressure models are put under.´

Georgina, now 23, insists that the only way to prevent models succumbing to eating disorders is for customers to boycott labels employing girls smaller than a size 8.

Georgina, who lives with her businessman father and paramedic mother in North London, was introduced to the modelling world at the age of 15 when she was approached by a model scout on London´s Oxford Street.

´On the first visit to the agency they treated me like the next Kate Moss, saying “Oh my God you are so unique, we´re so excited you´ve come to us. Who scouted you? Can we get you a drink?”,´ says Georgina.

´I was incredibly flattered and excited - as was my mum. She´s always been really enthusiastic about me being successful - and she didn´t know much about the modelling world back then.´

But by her second encounter with the agency, however, Georgina was already beginning to get a glimpse of the more insidious side of the industry.

´They took Polaroid shots, to check that I was photogenic, and then measured every inch of me, right down to the tips of my fingers,´ she says. ´I quickly understood that my body was merely a product, for people to examine and criticise.´

Georgina was in the middle of her GCSEs when the agency asked her to come in for a casting with a Japanese agent looking for models to work in Tokyo for a few months.

´I was really flattered when the Japanese agent picked me,´ recalls Georgina. ´She said I could go to work for her in Japan in two months time, on condition that I lose 3in from my hips and one inch from my waist.´

Losing weight become her mission: ´The only food I allowed past my lips was salad and vegetables and I´d often go for two days without any food at all.

´I´d skip breakfast, spend lunchtimes in the school library and tell my parents I´d had dinner at a friend´s house so I didn´t have to sit down to a meal with them when they got home from work.´

Georgina will not reveal how little she weighed in the years that followed, worried that other anorexics will view it as something to aspire to - just as she once did.

However, at the beginning of her career, she weighed just 8st 6lb - which, when you consider she is 5ft 10in, gives some indication of how pitifully thin she was.

Yet every fortnight, Georgina would go into the agency to be measured and photographed in a bikini. Every time she would be told that she needed to lose more weight.

´The skinnier girls got all the bookings and I was even told I wouldn´t be able to work for jewellery companies because my fingers were too fat,´ she says.

Emaciated, she arrived in Japan in June 2006 but was shocked to see that she was one of the ´biggest´ girls on the books.

Aged just 16, Georgina was left to fend for herself in a Tokyo apartment with two Russian girls who didn´t speak English.

Frightened and lonely she spent most of her time indoors, surviving on high energy drinks. A couple of weeks in, she was photographed for a pregnancy catalogue wearing a false, strap-on bump.

´I was a malnourished young girl being made to look like a pregnant 30-year-old,´ she says.

´Messages like that can be very damaging to a teenage girl, or indeed, any woman.´

Georgina´s mobile phone didn´t work in Japan so her only contact with her parents was once a week from a payphone.

´I don´t think my parents wanted me to go to Japan but they knew how desperate I was to make a success of my modelling career. And I was very stubborn.

´It must have been hard for them when I called home because I was so unhappy I was always in floods of tears.´

So why, one wonders, didn´t Georgina´s parents book her on the next flight home?

´Part of the deal was that I had to reimburse the agency for the cost of my flight and accommodation from the money I earned. So I couldn´t afford to leave,´ she says.

Whenever her parents asked, Georgina pretended that she was eating a healthy Japanese diet. However, when her mother and brother came to visit during Georgina´s final week in the Far East it was patently obvious that she was not.

´Mum has since told me that she was shocked to see how thin I´d become,´ says Georgina. ´She begged me to eat with her and my brother but I always had an excuse for why I wasn´t able to.

Georgina returned to London, where she worked on photoshoots for Top Shop, Gap and designer Giles Deacon, among others.

´Nobody ate on these shoots, which could go on all day, and we would survive on adrenaline and caffeine drinks. On the occasions I couldn´t fit into a dress, I felt so humiliated.

´The stylists would give me a look, and that would make me eat less and walk even more.

´Mum was wary, but she could see how excited I was to be part of the whole fashion industry and didn´t want to stand in my way. When she tried to talk to me about how thin I was, I´d get cross and it would turn into an argument, like so many conversations between a mother and her teenage daughter, I suppose.´

In August that year Georgina discovered that she had achieved nine A* grades at GCSE. It should have been a joyous time, however, over the year that followed, Georgina became gravely ill. Unable to work, she parted company with her agency.

In the summer of 2007 her parents insisted she see their GP, who immediately admitted her to hospital where she was diagnosed with anorexia and spent five months in treatment.

´I´d kept getting bookings although it must have been obvious to everyone in the business that I was anorexic,´ says Georgina. ´My lips and fingers were blue because I was so thin that my heart was struggling to pump blood around my body.

´The make-up artists would have to disguise it with concealer.

´It wasn´t just me - I know of at least six other models I still see photos of on a leading  fashion website who are also anorexic. They have the same telltale blue lips and hands.

´In hospital the doctors made no secret of the fact that my life was in danger,´ she says. ´My vital organs were under such strain that there was a risk my heart could stop or my kidneys pack up.

´I was force-fed through tubes before being transferred to London´s Priory Hospital where they made me eat enough to get back to a healthy weight. I did as I was told but, even after hearing that I´d almost starved myself to death, I didn´t fully grasp the danger I´d put myself in.

Despite this brush with death, shortly after Georgina left hospital, in February 2008, she joined the books of another model agency.

Her parents tried to talk her out of it but Georgina convinced them that she had recovered from anorexia and with her new, healthy attitude would not allow herself to be pressured into losing weight
However, old habits quickly resurfaced and Georgina began starving herself once again.

Later that year, aged 18, she was signed by Prada to appear on the catwalk during Milan fashion week.

´Just two days before the show, I was told I wouldn´t be needed after all,´ says Georgina. ´No one explained why and I convinced myself it was because I wasn´t thin enough.

´Too often I´d been told by agents and stylists: “You could do much better if you were a bit smaller” or  “You´ve got so much potential, but it would be a good idea for you to join a gym.” This sort of language seeps deep into a young girl´s psyche.´

Georgina ate even less and insisted on walking everywhere to burn off the few calories she did consume.

But, despite her skeletal appearance, she continued to get bookings until the middle of 2009.
´My mum had been begging me to get help, so I decided to take some time out and have outpatient treatment for my eating disorder.´

Astonishingly, despite the stress she was under, Georgina notched up four A* grades at A-level, and never returned to the catwalk.

The spectre of anorexia continued to haunt her to such an extent that last year she once again became so dangerously underweight that she was readmitted to the Priory.

As well as being force-fed and receiving counselling, this time Georgina was also prescribed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication to help her battle the illness.

A year down the line, Georgina is working as a PA, with ambitions to become an interior designer, and is so convinced that her anorexia is under control that she agreed to talk about her experience during the Shape of Fashion debate held during the recent in London Fashion Week.

´I feel very lucky to have survived but it makes me really angry to see images of models who I know are seriously unwell due to eating disorders.

´Most high fashion brands have used anorexic girls in their campaigns and the only way this will stop is if we stop buying their products.´